How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Drake has all the answers
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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