What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
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Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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