omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
