okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
