we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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