She is in my trunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My cat gives me a boner
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
