Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
