you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
