do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
