I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
