They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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