Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
