If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
