She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
