do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
