Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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