marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
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I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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