Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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