Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
