That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
