just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
