do herpes really smell.
i dont even know how to be here
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
