Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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