Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
