There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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