My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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