Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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