I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
