He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
