does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
