After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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