I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
