Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
should my penis look like a turkey
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
