Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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