I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It was a blind-side dick pic.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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