I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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