i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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