Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
