Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
