how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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