She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
