Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
