thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
