I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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