This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
