Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
