Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
