I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My breasts were aching with rage.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
