im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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