the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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