I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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