if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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