He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
