I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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