you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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