Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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