So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
