..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize