...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
