And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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