I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
