I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
