p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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