drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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