Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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